Funniest Akpos Jokes

Akpos got to School late on Monday Morning and his teacher asked; Teacher: Why did u come late to skool?.
Akpos: One man lost 1000 naira note at the Bus Stop.
Teacher: ohhh…I see..were you helping him to look for the money?. Akpos: No!!.. I DEY CRAZE???…Na me stand on top d money since!(meaning am I mad?,I was the one standing on the money)

Fulani Man at the bank joke

Today at the bank, a Fulani man goes to the ATM and withdraws all his money. Then goes inside the same bank and deposits the same money he withdrew telling the bank officer that, my money is not safe outside in the ATM…people are just withdrawing anyhow and they can end up withdrawing my money. Keep my money inside the bank, please. Don’t Smile alone, share it to our loved ones.

Quotable Quotes

No matter how beautiful and handsome you are just remember BaboonS, Monkeys and Gorillas also attract tourist.

No matter how big and strong you are you will not carry yourself to your grave.

No matter how tall you are you can never see tomorrow.

No matter how light skinned you are you will always need light in darkness.

No matter how rich and many Cars you have you will have to walk to bed.

No matter how much you acquired you will go back down to the ground empty handed.
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You know you’re a little too promiscuous when….

A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.

During the course of the meal, his mother could’t help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, the son volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, we are just roommates.”

About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver plate. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

He said ,”Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.”

He sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:
I’m not saying that you ‘did’ take the silver plate from my house, I’m not saying that you ‘did not’ take the silver plate .. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
your son

Several days later, he received an email from his Mother which read:

Dear Son:
I’m not saying that you DO sleep with your roommate, and I’m not saying that you DO NOT sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under the pillow…
Love,
Mom.

Guns in the ground

An old farmer wrote a letter to his innocent son in prison:

“This year I’m unable to plant potatoes because I don’t have the strength to dig into the ground. I know if you were here you would’ve helped me.”

Son replied:

“You idiot dad, don’t dig into the ground, I have hidden the guns there.”

The police read the letter and the next day the ground was dug by the police who were searching for the guns but they found nothing.

Son wrote again:

“Dad, the ground has now been dug up, you can now plant your potatoes, it’s the best I could do from here. Love you.”

Moral of the story…Where there’s a will, there is always a way!